honesty.

Twice in the past three months I’ve been taken advantage of at work. I just realized it today. Twice! The first time it was my ego and the second time my heart – yes they got in the way. I allowed myself to get worked over and I wasn’t even aware of it. I bought advertising from a woman who said I was worth twice as much as I was getting paid currently. She said she was going to help me get a new job. Fresh from being laid ff for so long I wasn’t necessarily keen on the idea of making any changes, one, but two also looking a current job a la looking a gift horse in the mouth – type of situation. She even hugged me at the end of our meeting for fucks sake. I bought advertising from her and I never heard from her again. Humph.

Round two. I buy 12K worth of radio ad time because a guy pretends to ‘know me’ somehow. He chats and looks and I shell out 90% of a budget.  He’s not interested and I’m a fool.  Now, I’m not a complete fool – the advertising in both cases were good business and it’s not like I was totally pushed like I was unable to say no or speak. … but if I am honest – and if I’m not honest with myself who will be? – I look at the two situations and see me getting duped.

Honestly, it helps me to think he must be gay.