Thursday, June 3, 2010

Today was a BLT day and enough grey veggies on my own plate

Today was a better day than some. It seems the days where I leave my apartment and see humans - and the experiences are positive - NOT interviews for jobs - when I see humans and it's positive, things are a bit better inside.
I no longer have money to grocery shop. Today mom took me out to lunch. Well, I actually ended up paying but whatever. And I had the greatest BLT.
Had a nightmare that a hurricane came and went while I was asleep in my apartment. I opened the front door and everything was covered in oil. I listen to Cowboy Mouth - The Avenue - who would want to live here if slapped in the face a second, and for that matter, a third time. Fate has a way of showing who's boss? Yeah - OIL.
I've begun taking my hurt and shelving it. Dad keeps texting me and I don't read them anymore. 11 months have really hardened me. The old me would have chastised anyone who did a thing lke that. Old me would say, "but what if it was an emergency?! - what if something happened?" But the new me hopes something did happen and doesn't want to deal with it. I'm done with picking up everyone's pieces. I'm also done with the threats that something BAD will happen. Let it happen. I'm out.
I have enough grey veggies on my own plate.
-Short Legs Magee

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