Unemploymentality

Unemploymentality

So it happened. I was laid off and I didn’t see it coming. The unemploymentality bleeds into every aspect of my life.

I’ve come to realize everyone feels the need to comment on my situation. You should do this and you should try this, they tell me. This may come from a place of a good-natured need to fix situations but unless it’s substantial advice that will head to a lead – it’s only an annoying reminder that you’re not in a good place and everyone knows it. I don’t need any more reminders of that fact. I’m told one day I’ll look back on this time and think it wasn’t so bad. And yes, I’m not so selfish as to assume no one has it worse than I, but I’m not usually a stressed person. Friends say they wish they had the time I have. That when I get back in the rat race I will wish I had the time I have now. But what they don’t realize is that looking for a job is actually a full time job. I constantly have to be on the look out for a potential person to contact or for a lead. It is days of networking, taking names and kicking butt. It’s a world of vast amounts of time and zero freedom. It’s endless nights of Holly Golightly Mean Reds (and the occasional cry in the hot shower). It’s endless days of pretending, stress hives and a few panic attacks for good measure. It’s about looking forward and not allowing your self to look left or right. Staying the course and believing in your self. It’s about marketing yourself in such a particular way that people remember you and can’t imagine their next project without your fingerprint. It’s thinking of creative ways to get your name attention.
When I get a job it’ll be like Christmas Morning. I know myself.
I’m a positive person and when I allow myself to freefall into believing something good will come out of all I’ve learned while out of work I can shelve the negative – for a few minutes. I been able to spend a lot more time with my family. I’ve been able to read more books and catch up on popular culture. I’ve been cooking. I’ve been being a tad more selfish with my time than I have been in the past.
The unemploymentality will affect everyone differently. I hope to get a novel out of mine.

-Short Legs Magee