2 a.m. - who loves you baby?

Once again it's 2 am and I am no closer to sleep. Sleep and I have always had an interesting relationship. I am told as a child I hardly ever slept - that I never wanted to miss anything. I would go and go until I would pass out....once in my mashed potatoes. I think I'm still like that. Actually I know I'm still like that. I'd never not do something in life just to sleep. Just yesterday my sis and I were at the grocery store and I saw that Price William is getting married. I told my sis, I told her we'd have to get up at like 4:30a.m. to watch it. She asked why. I said because it's in England - there's the time difference. She said, "won't it be relayed later? Can't I just watch it later?" I was like - ummm, no. That the thing - I want to experience it as it's happened. If I can't actually be in England - yes, I'm going to get my ass up and experience it at 4:30am. I'd never miss out on something just to catch it later on instant reply. Some people use the expression, "I'll sleep when I'm dead" - yea, that's about right. Not that I don't love by bed. I do love to crawl into clean sheets and sleep and sleep. But I don't really sleep when I am sleeping. No, I am a sleepwalker. A sleeptalker and a sleep-what-ever-else you can think of. I can remember times when I would wake up and be refreshed and feel good about the night's sleep. I don't think I've slept since August 25, 2005. The next day – our whole world changed and so did I. Nope, I can't recall having a single night's sleep that didn't involve some kinda ruckus. I've seen spiders, men walking about, and friends. I’ve had vivid dreams when I wake up with a start and I heard voices in my apartment. I’ve had dreams where I can see through my apartment to the outside yard….like I was a superhero with x-ray vision. I've woken up standing by the front door dressed fully in a suit ready for my day at work. One night I dreamed I saw a tiny camera in the corner of one of the pieces of art on my wall next to my bed. I woke up with it in my bed – which isn’t the weird part. The weird part is I remember doing it. I was aware of my actions but still unable to pull myself out of this other world. One morning I awoke to find I had taken all of the picture frames off of the wall and stacked them in neat little piles on the floor underneath where they should be on the walls. Mom says I've always been this way. When I was young and I would study particularly hard, and I assume stress about the situation, I would spend the night sitting up straight in my bed and regurgitate the Catholic prayers or French verbs I had just learned. Must have been pretty freaky for my mom for the nights I was spouting out French prayers. weird. My sister says she still can remember times when I would jump on top of her and scare the shit out of her. What? I was protecting her from the dinosaurs or whatever she needed to be protected from. Sounds like she needed to be protected from me! And maybe given her own room. I wish someone would protect me from myself. I have this whole other world that lives in my head. Not in a traditional crazy way – but an insanely imaginative way that never stops moving. An alternate reality of sorts. My brain never turns off. Not even when I’m pretending to sleep.